Complacency of the Desired
by song-of-staying
Summary: Trolls made humans. It turns out that they accidentally made them to be the perfect sex partners. Then it turns out that Rose and Dave need to save two worlds by having a lot of sex.


The bad news is that they need to fuck all of the trolls if they want to save the universe. The good news is they were made to do exactly that. For once in the history of sentient life, somebody's pubescent sex drive turned out to be constructive. Their gods created them for fucking. Their gods didn't mean to do that, and they're extremely embarrassed about it right now.

Dave is gallant and volunteers to take on all the guys, but she knows the clown creeps him out, so she's gallant right back and trades Gamzee in for Terezi. Dave needs a friendly face and Rose likes clowns well enough. She's just grateful she doesn't have to touch the sweaty one who sounds like Uncle Scratch. Ampora might have been fun to hurt, but it's probably better if she doesn't have that kind of fun with this.

So her first stop is Nepeta, a friend. She knows exactly how Nepeta is going to lick her way up Rose's leg and then tease her into laughing. She knows it exactly, down in her throat, and she imagines the way Nepeta will taste and it's so rich and crisp, better than apple cider. Better than anything.

After her friend, she's going to take on Vriska. Rose isn't an expert in psychotheology, yet, but she's pretty sure Vriska is clinically an asshole, kind of like Dave's Bro. That's an alluring thought, she lets it pass her by. Whatever Vriska's diagnosis is, Rose is going to follow her instincts and brush Vriska's hair. Pull on it, if she has to. She'll untangle all of that hair and bite that scarred gray neck, hard. There is not going to be any licking at all and Rose will stay above and keep Vriska below.

After the asshole, she wants a challenge. Aradia isn't an asshole at all, and her rage and her spite is a gleaming thing Rose feels drawn to like a moth. Aradia has great hair too, and Rose will ask before braiding it. She's going to ask at every single point, questions that make sense in binary. Is she allowed to touch, is she allowed to come. Is she allowed to be nice, as nice as Rose possibly can be, with no edges or traps. Everything Aradia touches has an edge these days and Rose is going to try to change that.

After she wins, she's taking on the clown. If any part of this is going to be dangerous, it's that one. But she's got her knitting needles and her newfound sex powers. "No, it extends to all four quadrants!" Karkat had insisted desperately. Well, whatever. She's going to please Gamzee in any quadrant it takes and she'll take notes. The only thing delicious about him is his rage, like a dark purple wine she shouldn't touch. She won't touch it, not when they have a goal they need to reach. (Sometime, in the future, she wants him naked and angry. And she's not going to worry about pleasing him at all.)

Then she wants a break. Feferi is way too nice for someone with so many tentacles. Rose knows where they will fit and knows what she can do to return the favor. She'll make Feferi blush in that royal sunset tone. It's going to be adorable. If there's one thing Rose enjoys about this mess, it's the way she gets to be friendly with danger, just like she always wanted to be. Of course, there are probably metaphysical reasons for that desire of hers.

Kanaya is going to be the last one. She's going to worry about Rose while Rose fucks her way through the meteor so methodically. And here's the thing: Rose likes seeing her worried and regretful and semi-jealous. Rose sees exactly how she could make Kanaya unhappy forever, or at least cringingly remorseful for a good long while. And it's tempting! Rose hates that there could be a cold reason, a fate reason, for falling in love with Kanaya. Taking it out on Kanaya feels like it could be satisfying. The gods may be gods, but they don't have to be happy about it.

But she likes Kanaya. Quadrants and sex and love and genetically coded desire notwithstanding, Kanaya is a dork Rose wants to talk to forever. She's stronger than the other trolls. Kinder, in a vampire way. Rose wants to know all the books Kanaya has read and will ever read.

Maybe she needs to put love aside right now, until it starts feeling less like a mindgame from above. Rose creates mindgames like she creates carbon dioxide. But she never wanted to wonder, again, whether her own feelings are real or simply the helpless reflex of a child.

If all she was made for was to love Kanaya, what was the point of Mom? Wouldn't it have been better to make Rose an easier person - still kind of sadistic, sure, they like that, but without this pettiness and hatred of authority? Hell, didn't Kanaya deserve someone easier? A worshiper without baggage?

Rose sits next to Dave, doesn't say anything. He's having his own freakout. She wonders if he's making a list. She'd help - he really, really needs to start with Tavros, in her opinion - but he's so shy about discussing it. He doesn't want to talk about his gallantry or about guys in general. She bumps his shoulder and he bumps his chin against her shoulder.

Okay, fine, she's overthinking it. She'll come to Kanaya, pitiful and a little bruised. Their second time together is going to feature scratches from other trolls' claws, and traces of Feferi's lipstick. If Kanaya deserves any punishment for her part in this, that will be enough.

Rose doesn't know the best way to please Kanaya yet, because anything they do together is going to be literal magic. Then she's going to sleep, she thinks. The universe will be secured. Kanaya will remain anxious. Rose is still going to love her, forever. They will work out the other part slowly, because Rose really wants to. Even if it's fake or predetermined, she wants to make it into something that feels real to her.


End file.
